Falling in and out of love
Recently I had the conversation with someone about falling in and out of love.
Not in the context of a romantic relationships, rather with your practice.
I instantly understood that feeling of having to work so hard to make sure you and your practice are working together rather than against each other. (Though sometimes when it's working against each other, that's the testament to a lifelong commitment to making it work).
Does it seem strange or perhaps foreign to have someone say you fall out of love with your practice or that you fall in love with it?
Like any relationship, the trajectory or relationship outlook of an art career is best described as under constant reassessment. (It is that way for me anyway.) And just like any relationship, there are times when you're on course and then other times when you're off course. Hardly ever staying in a straight line.
So where am I currently?
My practice is stalled because I don't have time to sit in a studio and make.
I devote all of my time to this research, and in a way, it has become my practice. Also everything else that comes with the practice such as: this blog and my instagram feed and most recently, I've finally finished recording podcasts and creating a series of wearables.
Relationship status: Complicated
I am in the process of finding my way back into love. Some days, it feels very one sided. Me putting in 100% of the effort with little to no appreciation. Other days, magically, the research reveal things to me and just like that, we're in love again as if we've never fought.
Or maybe we've just made up.
An instant surge of oxytocin to make me feel good and know that my practice may be loves me as much as I love it.
On that days it doesn't?
I'll love it for the both of us.
Because, this is a life long commitment.
And the love is unconditional.
This practice is the love of my life.
Hmm...
let's try this again.
Relationship status: Madly in love. Can't live without each other love.
Much better.
