Read Read Read pt2
What am I supposed to read?
Am I to read a section of the book?
Who?
What?
When?
Where?
Why?
How?
Huh?
That's pretty much what happens when I stare at a book I know I'm supposed to read. And worse, when I'm looking for things to read.
Topics which apply ALL sound very interesting!
The thing is, being a fairly curious person, and being trained to question and find relationships between things, I see the correlations. I see a lot of correlations between things.
Ok, I guess I'll read the entire thing (meaning the entire book)?
I'll just read it from cover to cover since I don't know if there will be useful info I'm missing out on. #fomo
I must admit that it's not the best use of time. But, because I don't have a researcher's background, I don't have the same knowledge as others. I'm worried that my research won't be able to stand on its own.
I'm probably being greedy.
I'm probably making my life harder.
I'm probably assigning more work to myself than I need to.
I am also probably over thinking this and washing myself with guilt and shame. Oh my besties. If I can't count on anything else, I most certainly can always count on guilt and shame coming to the rescue.
I know this sound sarcastic, but, I'm not at all being sarcastic.
Dr. Richard Swartz's Internal Family Systems Therapy research, states that we all have parts. Our parts come in and out of our lives and they are there to protect us.
It's a bit beyond mindfulness. Being able to watch my emotions and acknowledge that they are changing is one aspect of my parts.
Think of it like bulb of garlic.
I, me, am at the centre.
My parts are individual cloves within the bulb.
Mine?
The Twins? 👯
They're actually my cheerleaders.
They're trying, in the best way they know how, to get me to the finish line.
They want me to get this PhD.
They want the best for me.
They're protecting me and are worried that I'm not working as hard as I can.
So Twinsies: Thank you. ❤️
Thank you for showing up.
-Especially when I'm paralysed with anxieties and worries.
Thank you for caring.
Thank you for protecting me.
I'm good.
I've got it.
Wow, that was a massive digression.
Back to reading.
So ya, I read the entire book. I'm very happy to report that, more often than not, I find very useful information in seemingly unrelated chapters. And even though it may seem like a waste of time.
It's not.
In conclusion: I read books from cover to cover. It's true, the super dense, heavy, ultra boring ones are almost impossible to get through. I also get very angry at it.
Task: Keep reading.
Task Task: All I got to do is finish one chapter at a time.
